


Humans With Hats

by insanely_obsessed_shipper



Category: Llamas with Hats (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Gore, Humor, M/M, Other, Rewrite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-15 00:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4585605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insanely_obsessed_shipper/pseuds/insanely_obsessed_shipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically a rewrite of Llamas with hats, but with Carl and Paul as humans!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Humans With Hats

"Caaarl! There is a dead person in your house!"

Two teenagers were standing in the living room of a once-spotless house, one looking accusingly at the other. They were standing a few feet away from a blood covered body that happened to be missing its hands.

"Oh, hey, how did he get here?" The white-haired one stated innocently, nervously fixing his striped green hat.

The other boy was not amused. "Caaaaaaaarl, what did you do?!"

Carl glanced down at his shoes. "Me? Wha- I didn't do this."

The redhead was having none of Carl's shit. "Explain what happened, Carl!"

"I've never seen him before in my life!" Carl said defensively, crossing his pale arms.

The other boy, the red-haired one, was beginning to get a bit upset. "Why did you kill this person, Carl?"

Carl, realizing that he was nearing dangerous waters, quickly stated, "I do not kill people! That is- that is my _least_ favourite thing to do."

"Tell me carl, exactly what you were doing before I got here."

Carl's eyes darted around a bit before settling on his friend. "Alright, well, I was upstairs..."

"Okay."

"I was, uh, I was sitting in my room..."

"Yes."

"Reading a book."

"Go on."

"And, uh, well this guy walked in."

"Okay..."

"So I went up to him."

"Yes?"

"And I, uh, I stabbed him thirty-seven times in the chest."

Carl's friend glared daggers at him. "Caaaaaaarl, that kills people!"

Carl stared at the floor. "Oh, wow, I- I- I didn't know that."

The redhead threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "How could you not know that?!"

Carl looked at him sheepishly. "Yeah I'm in the wrong here. I.... Suck."

The other teen glanced down at the hand-less body. "What happened to his hands?"

"What's that?" "His hands, why are they missing?"

Carl's vision darted to his stomach for a split second. His friend noticed and inwardly screamed _PLEASE NO_.

"Well I uh, I kind of uh, cooked them up. And ate them." Carl cringed at the thought of the lecture he would surely be receiving soon.

" _Carl_."

Quickly, Carl said, "Well I- I was hungry, and well, you know, whe- when you crave hands, that's-"

"Why on Earth would you do that?!"

"I was hungry for hands! Give me a break!" Snapped Carl, more ashamed than irritated.

"Caaaaaaaaaaaaarl-"

"My stomach was making the rumblies-"

"Carl!"

"-That only hands would satisfy."

Carl was stunned by a slap across his face. Hurt, he sadly rubbed the sore spot on his cheek.

" _What_ is _wrong_ with you, Carl?!" "Well, I- I kill people and I eat hands, that's- that's two things."


End file.
